Absolute Choice

[Tyrant Valvatorez]

You go onto Reddit, because It can't get much worse from here.
You decide to...
Circlejerk all day.
Discuss the latest political Fedoras.
White knight the first potential woman you see.

[Levvuny]

You decide to go and discuss the latest political Fedoras. When you get there you here that annoying voice in your head again, here are the choices:
Delete your Reddit.
Spam the Fedora section with kitten photo's.

[Accelevi]

I was considering more of a crazy/weird style of RP, with much more "fun" choices.
Like for the first one, you're walking home, and something like:

1. Run into the nearest convenience store and rip off your shirt, yelling how patriotic you are.
2. [Insert your most hated person's name] will fall from the sky and follow you around for a week.
But anyways, continue.

[Levvuny]

(I was planning on getting there. lol, this is really just easy choices compared to the show)

[Shirosaki]

With clicks of the mouse, you go to flood the Fedora section with kitten photos.
As a result, all of your posts are down-voted to oblivion, and the moderators ban you from said sub.
You can:

Check your inbox for hate messages
Colossal Kick your monitor in a fit of rage
Move on to a different subreddit

[Accelevi]

You colossal kick the monitor, and it starts to emit steam.
You realized your mistake because you can't use your computer now.
Now depressed, you look around for the money you have, wondering if you can buy a new monitor.
As you see a piggy bank you used to have as a toy, the Absolute Choice fills your vision.

Call up all your friends and ask for them to come over, saying the door will be unlocked and they can just walk in. When they do, you will be naked and purring over your piggy bank, stroking it lovingly.

Go to the mall and do the same thing, and beg for money because you're doing so.

[Colopty]

You decide you need the money and goes to the mall located nearby.
As strangers begin to fill up your piggy bank, a cop shows up! He is not all too happy about your public indecency!
You can:
If he's gonna get you anyway, no reason not to go down with style! Kick him right in the face and do a belly flop!
Smash your piggy bank and offer him a bribe.
Break the face of your piggy bank, wearing it as a mask and hope he mistakes you for the piggy bank, bringing the actual piggy bank to jail instead!
Chastise the policeman for the coffee stain on his uniform.

[Levvuny]

You break the face of your piggy bank and wear it as a mask, and luckily enough, the policeman does mistake the piggy bank for you. As he is taking the piggy bank to jail you here the absolute choice in your head saying this.

Make the whole mall join you, and beg for money naked.

Have your piggy bank come to life and attack the cop.

[Colopty]

Having a piggy bank suddenly come to life seems pretty impossible and silly, but then again, you fooled a cop by creating and putting on a horrible mask right in front of him already. Might as well go for it.
As the headless piggy bank attacks the cop, you notice he calls for backups! Soon the entire area will be filled with cops, and you can be sure at least one is competent enough not to be fooled by your pig mask! You need to think quickly!
Your options:
Run for the police station and turn yourself in. Might as well hope they'll go easy on you.
There's a clothing store nearby! Run in and pose as a mannequin!
A mask alone might not work fool them, but if you had the attitude to match it might! Try to act in character and do pig-stuff.
Dig with your little piggy-feet! Dig for you life!

[Levvuny]

You start digging. You dig and dig, in till you hit some metal. 2 options jump into your mind.

Let's make some drugs.

I'm hungry. Hungry for humans.